IEP Not Working? Here's the Exact Conversation to Have With the School

What to Do When Your Child’s IEP Isn’t Helping—Even Though the School Says They’re Following It

This is a harder problem than non-compliance. When a school isn’t following the Individualized Education Program (IEP), you can point to specific violations. But what do you do when the IEP IS written down, services ARE technically being delivered—and your child is still making little to no progress?

That’s not a compliance problem. It requires a different conversation.

The Difference Between “We’re Following It” and “It’s Working”

This distinction often gets conflated. “We’re providing speech therapy twice a week” (following it) is not the same as “Your child is making measurable progress in speech” (working). An IEP can be technically compliant and still fail your child.

The trap is that once you’ve accepted an IEP as written, pushing back feels harder. You signed it. The school is doing what they promised. You can’t just say “this isn’t good enough” without evidence.

But you can. And you should. Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), the school doesn’t just have to offer services—they have to offer an IEP “reasonably calculated to enable a child to make progress appropriate in light of the child’s circumstances.” That’s the standard from the Supreme Court’s Endrew F. ruling in 2017. “Some progress” isn’t enough anymore. The IEP has to aim for progress that’s actually appropriate for your child.

So the conversation you’re about to have is about whether the current plan is actually appropriate—not whether the school is following it. Under federal law, IDEA expects schools to offer a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) that meets the standard established in the Endrew F. Supreme Court ruling, which calls for progress that’s appropriate for each child’s circumstances.

Step 1: Gather Concrete Data on What’s Not Working

Before you walk into a meeting, you need specific evidence that progress isn’t happening. “My child still can’t read” is frustration. “My child is still reading at a 2nd-grade level after two years of specialized reading instruction” is data.

Here’s what you need:

IEP goal progress from their own reports. Request written progress monitoring reports for every goal on the IEP—not anecdotal updates, but the actual data the school collects to track progress. Under IDEA, schools are expected to measure and report on progress at minimum as often as they report grades to students without disabilities. Our guide on measurable IEP goals explains what strong goals and progress targets should look like. Ask for:

• What the baseline was (where the child started)
• What progress was expected per benchmark
• What the actual progress has been
• The dates of measurement

Classroom performance data. If your child has reading goals but is failing reading, that’s a mismatch. Grab report cards, unit tests, progress reports from teachers—anything that shows where your child stands in the general education curriculum or classroom.

Outside evaluations or observations. If you’ve had a private eval, tutoring progress notes, or even detailed observations from family (“She can read sight words with me at home but the school says she’s making progress on fluency”), that’s comparison data. Outside observations can reveal a gap between what’s expected of your child and what they’re actually capable of with the right support.

Lack of generalization. If your child masters a skill in isolation but never uses it in the real world, that’s a data point. “He can answer comprehension questions in the resource room but doesn’t participate in class discussions.” That’s a gap worth naming.

Write all of this down with dates. Keep it factual.

Step 2: Reframe the Conversation Away From Blame

When you bring this to the school, expect some defensiveness—especially if you’ve been hearing the teacher says she’s fine while the data tells a different story. The school may be doing exactly what the IEP says. But the IEP itself may not be ambitious enough for your child. Understanding the difference between compliance and effectiveness is key—and knowing the common conversation stoppers parents face at IEP meetings can help you navigate pushback more effectively.

So you reframe. Not: “You’re not following the IEP.” Instead: “The current plan isn’t producing the progress we expected. Let’s figure out what needs to change.” Under IDEA §300.324, the IEP team can revise the plan based on new monitoring data—which is exactly what you’re proposing.

Here’s how that sounds in a meeting:

“We appreciate that the team is implementing speech services twice a week as written. Looking at the progress monitoring data, we’re concerned that the rate of progress isn’t on track for [your child’s name] to meet the annual goal by June. Before we continue with the same plan, I’d like us to talk about whether the current approach—frequency, duration, or focus—is the right one.”

That’s not blaming. That’s problem-solving. You’re moving from “Are you complying?” to “Is this working?”

Then you listen. Sometimes the school has good reasons—and sometimes they don’t. If they say “We need more time,” ask for a specific timeline and measurable milestones. If they say “That’s as fast as kids typically progress,” ask where they got that benchmark—and if they can’t answer, keep pushing.

Step 3: Document Everything in Writing

After the conversation, send an email summarizing what was discussed and what you heard. It clarifies what was actually said, and it creates a record.

Here’s a template:

Sample Email: Documenting Progress Concerns

Subject: Follow-Up on [Child’s Name]‘s IEP Progress — [Date]

Hi [Teacher/School Staff Member],

Thank you for meeting with me today to discuss [child’s name]‘s progress on [goal]. As I understood it:

• [Summarize what they said about current progress]
• [Summarize the school’s explanation for the progress rate]
• [Summarize any action items they mentioned]

I wanted to follow up on one point: We discussed whether the current plan is producing progress that’s appropriate for [child’s name]. To better understand the trajectory, I’d like to request:

1. Written progress monitoring data for [goal] dating back to [date it started], showing baseline, expected progress per benchmark, and actual progress at each measurement point.
2. A timeline for when we should see measurable change, and what that will look like.

I also wanted to note that [cite your data: private eval, classroom performance, generalization gap] suggests that [what it suggests]. I’d like this to inform our discussion about whether any adjustments to the current approach are warranted.

If we don’t see meaningful progress by [specific date], I’d like to reconvene to discuss next steps.

Thank you, [Your name]

Send it within 24 hours. It’s collaborative but firm—and it creates a paper record if the situation escalates.

Step 4: Know When to Stop Collaborating and Start Building a Paper Trail

If the school dismisses your concerns, doesn’t produce the data you asked for, or offers only vague explanations, the tone of your communication changes. You’re no longer having a collaborative discussion. You’re building a record.

At this point, future emails should be shorter and more formal:

• “I requested written progress monitoring data on [date]. I have not yet received this documentation. Please send it by [date].”
• “At our meeting on [date], the school stated that [progress measure]. However, [your data] indicates [discrepancy]. I am requesting that the IEP team convene by [date] to discuss whether the current plan is appropriate under IDEA §300.320.”
• “I am formally requesting a reevaluation under IDEA §300.303 based on new data indicating that [reason]. Please confirm receipt of this request and provide a timeline for completion.”

These aren’t angry. They’re on the record.

Remember: you have the right to request an IEP meeting anytime the data warrants revisiting the plan—you don’t have to wait for the annual review.

When to Bring in an Advocate

If the school continues to dismiss your data, stonewalls on providing documentation, or actively resists changing a plan that clearly isn’t working, that’s the moment to consider bringing in professional help. An advocate can help you formalize the request for reevaluation, interpret progress data, and prepare for a more adversarial IEP meeting. A professional IEP review can also give you an independent assessment of whether the current goals and services are adequate—giving you confidence that your concerns are valid.

Your Next Steps

1. Gather your data. Request progress monitoring reports today. Dig through report cards and assessments. Write down what you’re observing.
2. Schedule a meeting. Don’t ambush the teacher. Ask for a time to discuss progress. Bring your data.
3. Have the conversation. Use the reframe: “The plan isn’t producing the progress we expected. What needs to change?”
4. Document in writing. Send an email summary within 24 hours. Ask for specific data and timelines.
5. Set a deadline. Give the school a reasonable timeframe to respond and discuss next steps.

Ready for an Independent Review?

Upload your IEP to AdvocateIQ for a professional review. You’ll get specific findings on measurable goals, adequate services, and what to push for next. Get started here.